Our guest writer today is Katerina Sutton, who spends evenings with her laptop and a mug of Earl Grey. She serves as Assistant Editor at Fiction on the Web and a Prose Reader for The Adroit Journal. Off the clock, she's likely buried in a book or binge-watching sci-fi. Kat sheds a bright light on serious issues that can hold fiction writers back from earning what they’re worth. Non-fiction people, you may see yourself in this piece, too.
At Fiction on the Web, a journal with a longstanding reputation in the online literary space, I help evaluate upwards of 500 short story submissions each month. Across that volume, we receive a stunning variety of stories spanning just about every genre and topic you could imagine — yet the same issues keep otherwise promising stories from landing fully. Here are five story pitfalls we see all the time, along with how to fix them, so you can give your draft the best possible shot at publication.
Characters/plot need to be fleshed out further
This is a big one.
Too often, a story introduces something intriguing, but doesn’t follow through with full development. With the sheer volume of stories we read, characters must be more than archetypes in order to stand out–more than “the funny one” or “the tortured one”.
I know how impossible it can feel to pull off a compelling plot and rich characters within the constraints of a short story — but revision is your opportunity to elevate your work to that level.
Try thinking of the stories you’ve read and loved, and ask yourself, “Could any elements of my story be explored further?”
If yes, identify clearly what they are and how you might go about bringing them out further. Perhaps it would require another interaction with a character, or the addition of a scene.
Then, ask yourself how the story looks currently, without those additions. If you see now that the piece is lacking in places, and your characters or plot leave room to be desired, hopefully you’ll now have a better sense of exactly how to enact those changes. Unfortunately, if you leave your story as-is, readers will likely feel that something’s missing and move on.
Story veered into cliché or melodrama
Ask yourself, “Is this line or moment something I’ve seen dozens of times before? Was it the first phrasing that came to mind?”
Often, when writing a first draft, we put down the first option we think of. We draw back on an arsenal of movies, television shows, soap operas, all the way back from childhood, where the same lines were recycled over and over — the same cultural script.
This can be helpful for the first draft, to stay in the flow of writing; after all, you don’t want to spend five minutes thinking up a wonderful, unique simile, and then forget the scene you were writing in the first place.
However, in revision, it’s crucial to detect these weaker spots so your story is as distinct as it can possibly be from the others in the slush pile. Readers crave stories that handle things differently, that aren’t predictable, and do the unexpected.
We’ve read this before
We often see this with narratives about cultural heritage or common life experiences. While these lived experiences are rich with emotion and detail, they also tend to explore themes and experiences that may feel deeply personal to the writer but are, in actuality, quite heavily represented in the slush pile.
The stories with innovative descriptions and sharp execution — I mean the ones that make you think, “Damn, that’s fascinating. How on earth did they come up with that line?” — are the ones that’ll stick with us. This doesn’t mean that you need a wacky premise, and that your story isn’t worth telling. Your story might follow familiar rhythms, but if it describes something in a way that feels distinctly yours, it’ll pique our attention.
Prose is overwrought
This is often a dealbreaker from the first paragraph. If the way your story is written is too distracting to focus on the narrative itself, readers won’t stick with it for long.
We see this most commonly in period pieces: pirate tales, medieval fantasies, westerns, etc. Stylized narration can be a fantastic way to add richness and realism to a story. However, when not done tactfully, it can often manifest in the form of overly lengthy internal monologues, flowery descriptions, and awkward word choice.
When reading your piece over, ask yourself if the way the piece is written complements the content of the piece. If you’ve tailored your narration style to fit the tone of the piece or to demonstrate the personality of the narrator, identify the specific changes you’ve made from your natural style of writing, and ask yourself if those changes help or hinder the overall story.
Prose needs tightening
Many of the stories we reject are 20-25 pages, and could probably be 12-15. This isn’t to say that longer stories are bad — just that if they’re going to take up 20 pages, they need to keep readers engaged and invested. Often, these stories start out very promising but lose steam at the halfway point.
It’s hard, when you’ve poured yourself into writing a story that you care about, to face the fact that you might have to cut entire sections or even scenes. However, you’ll likely find that once you cut a scene, you realize that the remaining content is stronger and the entire story has benefited because of it.
(The story might also be generally well-paced in terms of events, but perhaps some paragraphs are too meandering or include too much filler and can be condensed. Make sure that your writing is as polished as it can be before you submit — some editors like to do a copyedit of the work they accept for publication, but the majority only accept work that’s ready as-is.)
It may help you to reestablish the main focus of your story. In other words, what do you want this piece to achieve? If you’ve lost your message halfway through the story, or it has become muddled, you’re bound to have lost readers as well. Often, with longer stories, the writer’s meaning and message need to be refocused.
As you revise, ask yourself: Is the story I’m telling as streamlined as it can possibly be? Do any sections drag or slow down in a way that harms the overall story? Though I love all these scenes and moments of dialogue I’ve written, do they all serve this story?
As a creative writer myself, I know how much time, energy, and vulnerability go into submitting your work — and how utterly discouraging it can be to receive rejection after rejection. Before you send your work to 10 or 100 places, take the time to look for these common issues and tighten your draft accordingly.
That said, it’s never easy to look at your work clearly, especially when you’re so close to it. If you’re ever looking for a second opinion, we offer a critique service at Fiction on the Web with feedback from editors who understand what litmags look for, designed to support writers during the revision process.
Fiction on the Web is a robust resource for writers, especially those focused on fiction. It’s packed full of advice, opportunities, and worthwhile stories. Read about their critique service if you’re serious about your writing revenue.
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